Darren faces a daily constant reminder of his military past, with his left leg amputated below the knee (CLICK HERE to see Darren’s story) but it is not his disability he has struggled to overcome – but mental health issues as a result of that fateful day when his life changed forever in 2008 when he was lead callsign on a routine patrol.
His Mastiff armoured vehicle hit an improvised explosive device (IED) whilst on operations in Musa Qala, Helmand Province, leaving himself and two members of his team injured.
“Mental health affects me more than my physical disability does. Yes, it’s an inconvenience when you want to get up in the middle of the night needing to go to the toilet and you have got to hop or you have got to put a prosthetic leg on in the morning but it is PTSD (Post-traumatic stress disorder ) which is with me every second of every single day,” he says.
“PTSD isn’t just something that soldiers can suffer from, it could be the result of a traumatic incident like a car crash or a sudden family bereavement and it effects people in different ways. I was injured in 2008 and although it can take years and years to manifest itself in some people, it presented really quickly with me.
‘Crazy’ sleep problems, panic attacks, depression and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) are just some of the knock-on effects which he goes toe to toe with every day but his family and work-life offer an invaluable life-line to his existence.
“There are always people who will not want to share their problems. Personally I thought there was nothing wrong with me but it wasn’t until my wife came home one day and was looking for me and found me in the cellar hiding from my boy who had had a screaming fit – I simply couldn’t cope with it. She said, Darren, you have got to go and see someone – and that turned out to be a turning point for me.
“I was in complete shock when I came out of the appointment and diagnosed with PTSD. There was a sense of relief as it was good to finally put a label on it. There’s nothing worse than not understanding why you are so angry. Why are you filled with so much rage or sorrow because PTSD for example makes you feel at times, like a raw nerve. It’s important for people to talk. Don’t be afraid to get something off your chest, because you might just be surprised at the response.
“It’s important to bring down the stigma of mental health issues – I would like to think the job I do is pretty good and I never let it affect my job. I’m quite comfortable with our organisation knowing that I have got a mental health problem.
‘The great thing with my job is when I am coaching, the kids are my sole focus and I’m giving them the best rugby experience I possibly can. So all of my doubt and concern, if I’m feeling up or down, upset about something falls by the wayside.
“Within the military one of the big things is professionalism and coming across to this organisation (WRU) I feel like a lot of our core values are very similar. We want to do the badge justice and I take a lot away from that. My coaching, especially in the environment I work in means everything to me so I am focused on that and it really helps.
“In what I do now I see so much value in it and I suppose in some respect it can be a bit selfish – I look at the smiles on faces, the transformation of a group of children or adults with disabilities and take them on a rugby journey and they gain from that – they become more confident in their own abilities and that really gives the negative voice in my head a bit of a kick in the teeth.
“To be in the privileged position I am in today where I can make a difference on a daily basis – I gain a massive amount from it.
“If anyone is going through any personal problems, I would simply say don’t be scared to talk to someone. The outlook is changing. The more we talk about it the more it will become the norm.
“I’m just glad that I’ve found something again where I have a purpose and can make a difference to so many, because it really does help.”
